Wednesday, 27 February 2013
As a child my mother chided me for ' navel gazing '. She'd say " Get out and do something , you will get nowhere sitting in your room ". Her comments haunted me for many years and would be especially upsetting when I was feeling anyway low or vulnerable . I would question my life and practice , and constantly ask myself if I was indeed wasting my time. It has taken a lot of inquiry and reflection to quieten her voice in my head ( and if I am completely honest it still speaks up at times ).
The difference is that I now can stand back from that voice and realize that it is just a thought in my head and I don't have to believe it. I can reflect on what ' sitting in my room " has done for me and confirm for myself that it is my path and preference to spend much of my time quietly in one of my practices .
My mother spoke from her truth she was definitely a ' Marta' very active in her life , daily Mass which she truly loved and being of service was her prayer .
I am more of a contemplative Mary type. Silence and practice is my ' prayer '. On reflection I can see that this time devoted to practice has enriched my life beyond measure, peace, joy contentment and love are the fruits of living one's Dharma.