My mind is very seductive and mostly tries ans often succeeds in distracting me from being fully present to the immediate moment. It lures me off on some tangent and I find myself ' figuring out some strategy ' until somehow awareness arises and catching myself lost in thought I'm back here and now. Again and again the play continues, some days it's easy to keep a soft alert awareness some days it feels like my mind is churning in all directions at once and being present to that Self is almost impossible, but just by staying soft and watching the mind's antics it eventually settles down. Somehow I finally let go of actually believing that it has anything worthwhile to offer and once again realise that the real wisdom comes from somewhere beyond my mind.
This is not another thought but rather a dropping away of thoughts , the peace that arises then is beyond any control of mine it is a pure gift for which I am eternally grateful.