Sometimes it feels like I'm stuck, sometimes it actually feels like I'm going backwards. It feels like it's not my mind, it's a raving monster in my head bringing up negative thoughts and beliefs that had been 'erased' already.

This is not a bad sign (not a nice feeling as it is occurring) but it often heralds some breakthrough.

I can remember when I started training with Steven their tai chi seemed completely beyond me. I would often feel dejected and have the same feeling of going backwards. Steven would encourage me by saying "That's a good sign you will have a breakthrough soon". He was so right , some block would shift and a leap forward would happen.

It is so important to remember to just keep working especially when we meet a wall, keep chipping away at the individual bricks and eventually an opening will come and allow light in. Especially when it feels impossible to breakthrough, know somewhere deep inside that it will happen. Call for help scream to your ancestors, to God , the Universe you will be heard. And when the breakthrough happens (as it must when you keep going ), it will have been well worth the effort.