Releasing

I have been studying the work of Lester Levenson for a while now. My great friend Margaret introduced me to his ideas a few years ago, and this year I did a Releasing Workshop with Larry Crane who teaches Lester's work. I tell this by way of introduction to an amazing experience I had lately. Releasing is all about letting go of unwanted emotions so we can recognise our true nature ( LOVE ).
All the teachings I have been studying tell me that the world is a mirror for my own mind. Larry taught me that disapproval for anybody else is actually disapproval for myself too. He teaches how to let go of this disapproving energy (not that easy for me). Anyway a friend rang, (one who presses my buttons big time and for whome I had a LOT of disapproval) inviting me to meet.
Reluctantly, I agreed telling myself that not meeting would be resistance and fear. We met and sure enough it didn't take long for my insecurity and disapproval to arise. So each time I caught myself disapproving, I would ask myself if I could release it and let it go ( hearing Larry in my head saying, and more and more and even more).I was doing this for quite a while. It began to dawn on me that it was my mind I was seeing and I began to feel grateful to her for this opportunity to release some of my negative thoughts and emotions. Before I could ask myself the next question, which is , can you give this person some approval? (for no reason !). Even before I had fully formed that question in my head, a wave of hot loving energy passed through my body. I felt healed in some deep way. I wanted to throw my arms around her. I stayed steady and in a while it seemed to me that she had softened we seemed to be more relaxed togeter than ever before and she began to open up about fears that had been bothering her. This powerful event is still on my mind. Did she soften because of the releasing? I don't know, probably never will know for certain, but all the great teachings tell us that if you change the inside the outside will change too ! Now when she comes to mind my heart fills with gratitude and love.
Larry Crane Release Technique ( if you would like to learn more).

Resistance

Yesterday I caught myself rushing to get the ware washed so I could get to the "more important" things like my tai chi. On noticing I paused to come back to the job on hand. In doing so I felt how tight this rushing had made my body and so I let go and relaxed as best I could. When I was ready to begin my tai chi I could feel a wall of resistance to actually starting. What was stopping me now from doing what I had been rushing toward ? Fear ! As soon as I got started it became clear that I was afraid I wouldn't "get" the new Chen postures I'm currently learning. Interestingly enough as soon as I caught the fear it was easy enough to let go and decide to just play with this new way of moving and be outside my comfort zone.
Recounting these experiences to friend last night I was giving myself a hard time about not being more together and he kindly reminded me of the Tibetan way. He said "remember to treat your mind gently like a mischievous puppy ". So today is a day of loving kindness for my mind and as my body works so hard for me that's' getting lots of love too.

Developing the Witness

In Order to become aware of our different modes of attention it is really helpful to develop the witness. We develop the witness by observing ourselves as we participate in our daily activities. For example I watch myself (when I remember) as I brush my teeth, notice myself tasting the toothpaste, see and feel myself enjoying my morning coffee, and watch dispassionately (as possible) the thoughts and feelings that pass through my mind. This is helpful as it gives me a distance from my emotions or as I often say to myself from " Ann's emotions. This doesn't make me cold hearted (I hope) but does help me to be more discriminating in my responses. Witnessing also develops awareness so I have more choice over my mode of attention. I can choose to widen my focus and include all my senses more often. I can pause to smell and taste the space around, listen to the sounds and the silence feel all the sensations in my body, while noticing the thoughts and feelings passing through, as I do this my eyes automatically soften into peripheral vision. When all this happens spontaneously I have dropped into diffuse immersed attention the witness is gone and " I AM " . It is an interesting paradox that by learning to observe myself, the ability to lose myself and drop into the big " SELF " develops naturally.

Sometimes the rustling in this tree filled silence is heavenly.

Dr Les Fehmi

Last year I trained in open focus with Dr Fehmi. I have found that this attentional training to be of enormous benefit to my tai chi practice. Here is an excerpt from his blog to give you a taste.

Most of us are far more reactive than we need to be, and reducing reactivity is one of the things Open Focus does best.
The best way to move out of narrow-objective focus, where reactivity is most extreme, to an Open Focus state, where our attention is more inclusive and immersed, is to listen to one of the recorded exercises available on our web site, www.openfocus.com. Even without the recorded exercises, though, you can sit down and let your attention become diffuse and immersed. Here's how.
Become aware of the space between your body and the walls of the room you are in. As you start to let yourself open and merge with space, you will naturally release stress and tension. To take this further, pay attention to where in your body any feelings of anxiety, fear and restlessness might be located. If you can feel pain, you can dissolve it. Simply move toward and immerse yourself in those feelings, bask in them, accept them and stop fighting. This is a skill we all can develop. The Open Focus™ approach is about attentional flexibility, which leads to release of tension, and not about trying to relax. For more information, check out our book The Open Focus Brain.

“I know the world is filled with troubles and many injustices. But reality is as beautiful as it is ugly. I think it is just as important to sing about beautiful mornings as it is to talk about slums. I just couldn't write anything without hope in it.”
Oscar Hammerstein II
Thanks to my fabulous daughter, Jo , for this quote

The Benefit of Knowing Where Your Happiness Lies

Have you noticed how frustrating it is to look for love and approval outside of yourself? The mind tells us that the answer id outside in the world ; when we get the job or find the perfect partner or have the right amount of money we will be "happy".

This is a lie. Even in Tai Chi practice the mind does this. It says when you understand the postures , when you feel the energy, when you are a success...but I have noticed that none of these things completely satisfy the mind . It's like the Greek story about the mermaids who lured and shipwrecked the sailors on the rocks - the mind keeps luring us with stories of what will make us happy and fulfilled.

With a practice that quietens the mind we begin to realise that the fulfillment is here already. You're already whole and complete. This does not lead to becoming lethargic and having a 'couldn't care less' attitude. Paradoxically, you become more fully present and engaged in everything you do.