The most important question  for me has always been , '' What is the purpose of my life ? '' The voice in my head regularly asks ,  '' Are you wasting time ? Should you be doing something more productive ? Should  you try and earn some more money ? ''  Sometimes the voice shuts up for a while, or maybe I just learn to ignore it. But then back it comes , John says why don't you write about it ? I say  ''I have no answers no insights on that subject .'' John says " That doesn't matter you might get some clarity by writing ". Well here I am writing and still no clearer.  He says " Why not just accept that this is the way you are ? " And that is the joke because that brings me back to a life of asking " Is this my purpose ? Am I living my Darma? Dare I relax even more and really trust that life knows where it is leading , let go of any remaining figuring out.  Finally some peace arrives , because deep down inside I know that  this is what I love , I love to look deeply inside to listen deeply inside , and  as long as I can have the time to search and question I guess that is what I'll do.  So John was right after all the writing has helped .